Dear Pain...

Hello, old friend.  This will be my 8th summer with you has my constant and ever loyal companion.  My 7th year since you came unwelcome and unwanted...

You can leave anytime.

I use to have a much different life before you came along.  I had a career that I really, really enjoyed.  I worked with the elderly helping make their life easier and hopefully giving them a smile and a laugh. I shared their later years getting to know them, becoming friends and often my visits were an integral part of their day or week. Sometimes I had the honour to share their end journey as they left this world, hopefully making it easier.  It was humbling, satisfying and joyful work.

You came along and took that from me.

I use to love to garden, go on long walks, geo-cache, go camping, volunteer, visit friends, spend time with family.  I use to do yoga, occasionally try to dance and ride a bike.  I use to have a life. I had plans, dreams, hopes.

Now I have you.

Some of these things I can still do but, not without your relentless companionship.  I do my best to ignore you but, you are a malicious and jealous sort.  You crave my devotion and if I ignore you too long, you turn up the heat.  You will not be denied!

There is so much you stole from me.  So much you snatched away in a heartbeat.

You are so very clever and sly.  You hide where others can't see you deep in my bones, joints and sinews.  Most don't realize what an incredible burden you are to me. You are often barely recognizable and when you do clearly show up, the affliction is usually too great for me to show up in public thus, the worst of you is rarely seen by others. Only a handful of people are even aware that you are always present, always tormenting me.

You haunt my sleep and terrorize my days. You often bring me to futile tears making me despair and feel forsaken.  You are powerful and tenacious. Unless someone has experienced your hold, it is impossible to truly understand.

I long to be free of you.

I've tried so much to rid myself of you through drugs, exercise, physio, surgery and prayer.  Lots and lots of prayer.  But you refuse to leave.

You've left me weak, diminished and disabled.  I've cried, begged and bargained but, every morning...

every night...

there you are...

lurking...waiting...

But, dear pain, you will not win. I cannot let you. There is always tomorrow and one day you may grow weary of this amusement of yours and be gone.

Although you may steal everything else, you won't steal my hope. Because you see; in my dreams I can walk, run, play and dance unencumbered by you. In my dreams I can fly. I will never embrace you and I will always resist you, fight you and do my utmost to ignore you.

You will not win!

So, even if you never, ever go away I shall have the last laugh because...

you really must understand that you truly have the more difficult task...

It isn't me learning to live with you: it's you learning to live with me!

Flush the Idea...

I realize this is a touchy subject and maybe some may consider me a prude or terribly out of date.  I hope I can do this without being accused of being homophobic, a gay rights hater or any such nonsense but, so be it if I am.  I do not like, approve or condone unisex or non-gender washrooms.  No siree!

The idea of getting rid of male and female washrooms in favour of unisex ones just well...creeps me out.  I do feel a sensitivity toward transgender people and I don't have many great ideas how to solve their lavatory issues.  It must be very difficult dealing with this dilemma and it's a sad state when a transgender child is bullied when they use their washroom of choice.  But honestly, do parents really think non-gender washrooms will stop the meanness? It's not like the other students don't know who is transgender and who isn't. Perhaps, a bully-free facility might be in order!

Regardless, I don't want to be forced to share a washroom with males nor do I want my young granddaughter to see teenage or grown men using what has traditionally been a private, female space in order to protect the few.  I have rights as well!

Personally, I have no issues if a young mom brings her little boy into the ladies restroom.  I'm not so prissy as to think badly of a 6 or 7 year old boy using my facility because his mom is anxious about sending him alone into a men's.  Nowadays, I understand being this cautious. A defenseless little boy would be easy prey for any pedophile. But there is a limit.

Having said that, I don't dislike the idea of unisex washrooms because I fear the deviant behavior of some pervert. I'm not worried about a transgender girl using the facility.  In fact, I highly doubt I recognize or realize the difference if a male had assumed the female gender.  These are not my reasons. I am just genuinely uncomfortable and inhibited by having a teenage boy or adult man using the same space.  I don't even care if they use an enclosed stall as I'd hope open urinals wouldn't be in evidence, although who knows??

Is it wrong for me to say there is a "yuck" factor in dropping my drawers, knowing there is a male just a few inches away?  Perhaps some folks may think I'm wrong but, I don't think I'm alone.  I don't want to be surrounded by males when I apply lipstick or fix my hair. Not because these are as personal and private has actually going pee but, I still don't want it and it would be very unsettling for me.

Right or wrong, I have rights, too.  Despite the fact I'm not a discriminated minority; I shouldn't be denied my basic rights to privacy and well-being. There has to be a more acceptable solution; perhaps separate facilities for the LGBT community?  Or is that just too prejudicial?

Quite frankly, I'm tired of being accused of narrow-mindedness because I fight for my beliefs and rights. I didn't choose to be a heterosexual female anymore than a gay person chose so, why should my rights be denied?  Why should I be the uncomfortable or embarrassed person?  Why is what I desire less valid or essential than others?  Why do I have to suffer verbal abuse because I don't want to give up my rights to cater to the few?

I'm sympathetic but, non-gender washrooms are a horrible idea and as far has I'm concerned I hope it never happens because if it does I'll have to break all the rules and simply use the family washrooms.

Or God forbid, start wearing a diaper!

Toodle-loo...

The Garage Sale...

I haven’t written for my blog for a very long while; a year to be precise.  Yikes!  I really didn’t think it had been that long.  Talk about being M.I.A.  But I have returned and hopefully back with some regularity. 

A lot has happened during the past year which should be a helpful source of blog posts.  One of these was a job I tackled for the first time in my 59 years; organizing a garage sale.  Yes indeedy, I and my family (much to their alarm) took on this overwhelming task.  There are several things I learned though this experience but, before I tell you about them; I shall digress and tell you how it all came into existence.

Early 2015 I became consumed with an overwhelming desire to purge my entire house.  At first I felt it was just the crying need to divest myself of 28 years of accumulation and clutter but, as I tackled this task I actually, learned plenty about me.  Not the least was I just may have all the earmarks of a potential hoarder! 

I started in the basement (it isn’t finished) which had become a great, grey dumping ground and catch-all throughout the years for anything and everything that couldn’t  seem to find a home elsewhere.  Now let me be clear about what I mean...  There were belongings of my mother’s, who passed away in 2002.  Stuff of both my daughters who have left home over 15 years ago and have long ago married, had kids and created their own piles of “stuff”!  There were things I’d forgotten I had or hadn’t used in 20 years.  I t was frightening!  In fact, I didn’t even know where to start and gained a whole new empathy for those folks who hoard much worse than I.

Nevertheless, I set about tackling this job and was absolutely ruthless.  By that I mean if I hadn’t used it within the past 2 years, out it went.  It was a big job.  There was a lot of stuff.  It took me all winter but, finally I was ready for the Garage Sale!

These are the lessons I learned through my Garage Sale experience:

·        It covered 2 weekends, eating up my time and the time of my family’s.

·        It was a lot of work hauling things in and out on to the driveway each day.

·        It didn’t earn nearly enough considering the time and work invested.

·        The wise thing to do would have been to donate it all in the first place.

I realize there are folks who feel garage sales are profitable and well worth it.  I am NOT one of them.  Never again will I attempt such a folly or get my family mixed up in the same.  However, God bless them for rallying round me and my asinine idea. 

I did, however learn (as I mentioned earlier) some very insightful things about myself through this whole experience.

·        The clutter around me that was driving me loony was really guiding me to examine the mess of internal clutter I’d allowed to build up in my spirit.  More about this is another blog.

·        Despite my disability and the pain I was able to tackle this difficult task little by little if I accepted that it couldn’t be accomplished overnight and it was entirely okay if it took several months.

·        It isn’t the timeline that counts; it’s the finished outcome that matters.

·        What an AWESOME, WONDERFUL, EMPOWERING and HUMBLING feeling accomplishing this job gave me!

·        I now feel ready to tackle the rest of my home and while I clear away the years of physical clutter surrounding me, I can also, clear away any spiritual or emotional clutter within. 

So, my advice is don’t let your clutter overwhelm or own you.  Pick a spot, a room, a drawer, or whatever and get started uncluttering.   Give yourself permission to take your time but, be consistent.  Little by little, bit by bit you will see the end.  Be ruthless and don’t add anymore stuff to the pile.  Ask yourself before filing anything into a cupboard, the basement or the garage; “Do I really want or need this?  Will I use it in the next year or two?”  Be honest and you’ll be surprised what you’re willing to let go of and give away. 

Last but, not least I DO NOT recommend doing a garage sale.  It is lots of work, doesn’t earn that much profit and often involves others.  Throw out what is garbage and give the rest away.  Unless you enjoy such things or do it as a job, I believe the garage sale is a colossal waste of time.  And time is something we never can accumulate! 

Until next time...tootle-loo!

A Thorn in my Flesh...

There are days when I hurt so badly that I just want to curl up, forget my responsibilities, neglect  my duties, ignore family and friends, shut down my life and just give up.  There have been several times during the past five years when I have felt utterly defeated and forsaken.  Then...

I think about those who suffer more.  Those coping with the reality of a terminal illness as well has their long suffering caregivers, those who deal with pain without medical intervention, those who are hungry and homeless, those who are beaten daily or abused in a fashion I can't even imagine.  I think of these people whom most I do not know and never will then...

I feel ashamed.

I hang my head and repent of my selfishness.  Sure, I hurt.  Sure, it's getting worse. Sure, it isn't curable, but I am loved, supported and I have help.  Help from the medical community, beloved friends and family.  Mostly, I have faith. Faith that has been born out of a less than perfect life, but oh, such a blessed one!

Blessed in countless ways since the day I was born.  Blessings that have been undeserved, unearned and are unfinished.  God has rewarded my faith during times of trial over and over and over again.  He has shown his faithfulness and love and yet, I still forget.  But, he does not!

This "thorn in my flesh" is being used for his glory.  His power shows up through my weakness and his grace is sufficient for me.  So, even during the really bad days when I am tempted to give up, I instead, surrender (yet again) to God's wisdom and I am humbled.

I have learned by grace not to simply pray for my own relief, but for all those who suffer as much or far greater than I do.  I pray for the healing of  broken hearts, damaged pasts, unrelenting misfortunes or anguish I can't even imagine.  I pray for their miracles.  It feels right and good.  God is already using my
pain for his glory by chastening my self-absorption.  How much more before he is finished?

I may never see the end of this pain.  There may never be a healing miracle of my physical body, but this "thorn of the flesh" is itself, a miracle.  I feel mor empathy, more gratitude and more real joy than any other time in my 58 years on this earth.

I once would never have envisioned, but I have learned that this scripture is so very true,  "But he (God) said to me, My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore, I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."  2 Corinthians 9-10

Amen!

Five minutes more...

We live full life's.  We seem busier now than ever in history although, I have my doubts about this being true.  Regardless, life is busy...for most of us.

Much has been written and discussed about how today's society is too preoccupied and disconnected. How we fool ourselves into believing Facebook, Twitter, or other social media fill in the gaps we lose in our busyness.  Or how suicides, depression and mental illness are on the rise, starting in younger and younger people.  There are websites, books and seminars dedicated to solving this growing plague of unhappiness and disconnection among us.

I suppose there are no easy answers and I certainly won't pretend to speak as an expert, but what if we  started with just taking five minutes every day to really connect with someone.  We all have five minutes to spare...yes, you do!

Preferably, this five minute connection would be in person, but even if you use it to send off a personal email, post or text to one of your many, many "friends" online, it'll be authentic.  And I don't mean just using some generic greeting!  NO!  Take five minutes to add a personal note or make a real commitment to get together (not someday, sometime) and genuinely mean it!

You are not so busy or so important that you can't give someone five minutes of sincere interest even if it's the clerk you see every day at Starbucks, where you order your daily coffee.  Don't be afraid that those five minutes might extend into 10 or 15 minutes.  If it does, oh well...nothing bad will happen. No one will likely notice that you're MIA for 15 minutes out of 24 hours!  Except...that "somebody" you chose to connect with and perhaps, lifted up for the rest of the day.

Just think about it.  It's only five minutes.  You have the time.  You use this much time everyday  with your snooze alarm.


And if you're still doubtful, just think of someone, anyone whom you loved and lost.  What would you give...what would you set aside...if you could have five minutes more?

Turning Over 50...

There is something satisfying about turning 50 and sliding on past toward to 60. Yes indeedy, it's undoubtedly not all downhill.  Well...with the exception of certain anatomical parts (which shall remain unnamed) that will not defy gravity without the reinforcement of silicone.  But, otherwise hitting the half century mark can be quite sweet.

To clarify, before I express the following, that these are only my opinions on this matter.  I did not do a survey or a double-blind study so, I can't quantify if most of the over 50 crowd concur.  However, I feel I may have a few supporters.


1.  You no longer need to be concerned about being fashionable, on trend or even matching!  Not that there's anything amiss if you do still care but, the glorious thing about being over 50, is that no matter how much you pick, pluck, nip, tuck; nothing will make you look 30 again and that's okay!  Finally, you've reached the age where you're thoroughly comfortable with being "wash & wear"!

2.  Being older often brings with it a sudden gratitude toward good health.  No longer do you want to while away your days watching videos and eating ding dongs.  You seem to have lost your obsessive enslavement to certain items such as caffeine, sugar and rich desserts.  Eaten seldom, these foods or drinks are enjoyed as rare treats instead of compulsive weaknesses.  Staying active has become a blessing because you have peers who cannot be so mobile., but would relish the renewed freedom to move.  Health is no longer a grudging sacrifice made so, you'll look alluring or stylish.

3.  Then there is learning.  Remember when sitting in school was a necessary  DRAAAAG!  As we get older learning new things is not only a personal challenge (we probably don't need to) but, exhilarating.  Like myself, if you've had a loved one succumb to Alzheimer's disease, then joining the Dorky Geek Squad becomes the end game.

4.  Another strange development about being over 50 is the peculiar evolution of downsizing.  Suddenly, you can't understand why you have SO MUCH STUFF! There is stuff in every nook and cranny of every square inch of your home plus one or two or three sheds crammed tight with "indispensable" items that now, you can't fathom why it was all so necessary?  Like a snake shedding it's skin, you can't wait to dispense of all your junk, keeping only what you actually use and what may hold some real sentimental value.

5.  My relationships have become more meaningful and relevant since I've gotten older.  No longer do I feel the need to be a Lone Ranger.  In fact, I finally realize I need Tonto at my side.  Even the most impromptu or casual relationships (the cashier at the local store) are worthwhile and worthy of my undivided attention whilst with them.  The gratitude of actually being noticed shows on their face the
instant they realize I "see" them.  What took me so long to grasp the notion that everyone wants to be validated even if it's a brief interaction?  If I can do nothing more, I can take a moment in time to say, "Hi, you look nice (tired, happy, etc.) today."  I am NOT that busy!

6.   Spirituality has become a vital part of my peace and well-being as I age.  My personal choice is Christian and although it has always been a part of my life, for far too many years it was an "add-on", that required little of me. It was on my "To Do list" and probably ranked no more than 5 but, since getting older it's become number one.  In order to maintain serenity in my life and learning to accept my mortality and those of my peers; I've begun pouring my heart out to God , sending healing prayers and flourishing in a grateful relationship with my Lord Jesus Christ. It has become essential.  If fact, most of these opinions would not be possible without the abiding grace God grants me every day.

7.  Last, but not least, LIGHTEN UP!  If I've learned anything as I've aged it is to laugh more and quit taking life so seriously.  Most of what makes us irritated, critical, judgmental, unloving and miserable is simply not that important.  Learn to laugh at yourself, at others, at circumstances and at life.  Seriously.
YOU.  ARE.  GOING.  TO.  DIE.  ONE.  DAY.   

What do you want your legacy to be?  Do you want to be remembered as the old bat that judged, criticized and complained about everyone and everything? Or...would you rather be honoured as the one whom brought light, love, and grace into a room simply by entering it?

You get to decide, because anyone can choose to be miserable, especially as we grow older.  So, laugh!  Seek it, search for it; for it is more precious than gold.  And really...wouldn't it be the greatest hoot to actually "die laughing"?

Mirror, Mirror...

...on the wall, whose the fairest of them all?  What do you see when you look in the mirror?  A face?  A body?  Do you love it or hate it?  Or is it just okay?

Most of us will never completely love or hate what we see unless, we're a narcissist or have a body dysmorphic disorder. Most of us just try do the best we can with what we were given, warts and all.  Or do we...

When we look in the mirror do we ever look beyond the glass?  Do we ever see the authentic self shine behind the physical form?  Or do we despair and focus on our too large nose, crooked teeth or frizzy hair.  What if, instead, we considered the true beauty behind the mirrored reflection?  Or even better, what if we realized that the  physical image is a mirage, ever changing, has flimsy as a vapor?  What if we saw the truth...

Like the gentle spirit that keep our eyes intent on an other's broken heart...

Like our infectious sense of humour that brings smiles to an other's lips...

Like our sensitive soul who would happily donate our long, kinky hair in the creation of a beautiful wig for those  undergoing chemo...

Or like our compassionate heart that would share a kidney or bone marrow to redeem an other's life...

These are only a few of the beautiful qualities the mirror fails to reveal, if all you observe is the too thick waist or too short legs.  Look beyond the glass.  See the true vision of whom you were created to be and share this wisdom with other women in your life.  More importantly...


once seen, cast off all vain glory, so you may align the mirror to reflect and bless others.  Choose to renounce that a dress size, hair style or body type exemplifies true beauty.  If you are able, inspire a young girl to shed this world's definition of beauty so, she'll be more likely to nurture the fragile seedlings that grow radiant character, the source of real loveliness.

Mirror, mirror on the wall.  Whose the fairest of them all?

Perhaps, one day the answer will lie in the sight of a young mother making time to visit the lonely, aged widow, the gentle smile and proffered heart to the bullied peer or the quiet kindness given a wounded soul.  After all...

why can't real life have happy endings, too?

The Miracle

This poem was inspired during the oddest time, for I busy making supper, and certainly not feeling at all poetic.  However, trusting it was God-inspired, I quickly jotted down the gist of it, before I completely forgot it (not unusual for me).  Later I worked with it until this final version felt right.  This poem, at it's heart, is meant for and dedicated to a dear friend that I pray, if my gracious God has planned a healing miracle for me, I happily and willingly give it away...

Glory in the mountains,

marvels in the seas,

mysteries in the valleys

and hope in all of these.

Time journeys where it wants,

destiny designs a life,

with sorrows in the sojourn

and blessings in the strife.

Given choice for myself,

a healing will decide,

if thus is taken willingly

or joyously cast aside.

A miracle given to another,

whose need is greater still,

and in that very moment

confirmation of God's will.

There is Nothing like Old...

There is nothing like old dogs, old friends and old photographs when you're getting up there...you know, over 50!

Old dogs are not only special companions but, great comforters!  I believe God designed dogs especially for little children and older folks.  They give us a sense of responsibility, a purpose to rise above our self-centered thoughts, a excuse to act with integrity and loyalty.  A dog gives us friendship like none other we'll ever experience.  The unspoken trust and love between our fur-buddy and us needs no rituals; no handshakes, special incantations or blood vows.  It is a union of mind and heart that is spiritual.  Dogs are always overjoyed to be with us even when we can't stand ourselves.  They medicate us when we're sick or just lonely in soul.  They soften hardened hearts, add sunshine to a gloomy personality and warm cold feet.  Most of all our beloved dogs...

teach us how to graciously suffer loss.

Old friends are like wearing worn slippers; nothing is more comfy or cozy.  Even when you don't speak or see each other for weeks, months or sometimes, years, you can pick up as if it were yesterday.  There is a shared history that carries with it all the dramas, big and small.  The laughter, the inside jokes, the collective battlefields of sorrow, divorce or loss.  You impart parental wisdom, disclose closely guarded secrets and reveal deepest fears.  Your mutual transgressions and shared mercies lift each other up when the wings of fate fail one of you. An old friendship offers the mortar of kindness, discretion, forgiveness and insight that cements time and distance forever.  Most of all our treasured friends...

teach us how to grow old gratefully.

Old photographs capture a busy life in a moment, freezing forever, not only an image, but the experience.  There is nothing like being caught in a candid flash looking your worst, doing something ridiculous or best of all, oblivious to the snapshot.  You'll wonder many years later, what was going on in your life in that immortalized second?  Were you happy, angry, lonely...  Perhaps clues in facial or body language may give you insight.  Old photographs enrapture you all over again in recollections of past holidays, vacations, special events and thrill us to what once might have seemed run of the mill.  Bubbling streams of emotions stream down our faces as these cherished, static flashes seamlessly, knit together a lifetime.  Most of all our priceless photographs...

teach us how to value the moments.

Old dogs, old friends, old photographs.  These all reflect a life...and I pray...a life well lived!

Where Oh Where...

Okay, I've been on the lam, incognito, MIA, absent, dawdling, gone!  Well...not really gone, but definitely not blogging.  In fact, I was SHOCKED when I saw I haven't written a word since March 17th, 2014!

I have a ton of excuses, you know...

...busy
...preoccupied
...burnt out
...lazy

But, no real reason (except maybe lazy!) for not making time at least once a week, to exercise my composing muscles.  I can't even blame it on lack of ideas resulting in writer's block, although this does seem like a nifty defense.  But, truth is, there is always some subject I can rant and rave about like a lunatic.  Ask anyone who knows me!

Procrastinating. That about sums up my real reason.  I hate to admit this about myself, but I can be the Queen of Procrastinators!  Please, tell me I am not alone! This is a fault that can prove to be utterly and totally self-defeating and toxic. I mean, just check with any of my house plants in any given week!

So, what to do? What to do?

I could just accept it has a less than desirable character flaw.  I mean, REALLY, at my advanced age (snicker) it's too ingrained to change.  Right?  Or I could defend it by claiming almost everyone procrastinates on some things.  Again, right?  But...

...it really amounts to choice.  Right?  Right!

I choose to put off, delay, dilly-dally and generally postpone more than I care to admit!  And what is really, I mean...REALLY, crazy about this trait, is that some of the things I drag my feet on, I actually enjoy doing! Like, say...blogging!

So, take that to the psychologist's couch and mull it over!

But, without getting too far into my overwrought, impaired psyche, I'll just say unless it's a commitment to others, necessary for life or some such bottom line, crucial. life or death thang well...I just get LAZY!

la•zy
  [ley-zee]
adjective, la•zi•er, la•zi•est.
1.
averse or disinclined to work, activity, or exertion; indolent.
2.
causing idleness or indolence: a hot, lazy afternoon.
3.
slow-moving; sluggish: a lazy stream.
4.
(of a livestock brand) placed on its side instead of upright.
verb (used without object), la•zied, la•zy•ing.
5.
to laze.

Yuppers... it's truly a genetic flaw.  A bloodline matter that runs through my father's side which is another tale for another time.  But, here I am, returned from the wayward fields of whimsical and congenial intentions to satiate your appetite for my ingenious and dubious rhetoric...huh uh...

No promises of doing a weekly hat trick but, I certainly can try to entertain you (my favoured readers) on a more regular basis.

Here's to becoming diligent and conscientious!!

*****************************************************

No where to go, but...

Spring Cleaning - Ground Zero - Destroy...

I've decided to start my Spring cleaning next week.  I know it isn't Spring yet, but my hope is to be finis...done...wrapped up...

before Spring fever triggers my compulsion to head outdoors and play in the dirt! Thus, cleaning or anything remotely associated with it will be forsaken while I chase more pleasurable pursuits in my flower beds.  

With all this scrubbing, washing and polishing on my mind, I got to wondering where this torturous activity was devised that we called, "Spring Cleaning".  

Apparently one of the historical Spring cleaning rites originated with the ancient Jews who, at Passover, cleansed their homes of any scrap or trace of leavened foodstuffs during the holiday in honour and remembrance of their escape from captivity in Egypt.  

Also, in early North America and Northern Europe, March was chosen because it was the first warmer month after a closed up winter in which doors and windows could be flung wide, thereby allowing high winds to thoroughly dust out the house.  Also, daylight hours were getting longer, affording a better view for properly cleaning grungy nooks and crannies.  But, I neither worry about yeast crumbs or dark winter days so...

I mean really... I clean my home all year long...shouldn't that be sufficient?

Well...it could be.  It should be.  For some folks it most definitely is enough, but...

...my persnickety self will not allow me to ignore the cobwebby corners, dusty nether regions or hidden fragments of something or other absolutely no one notices, but me.

So, I organize my buckets, mops, rags, brooms and various magical potions that will find, capture and destroy any mold, mildew, dust mites or germy germs that try to hide from my crazy self!

Armed for battle I attack room by room; washing walls, clearing out closets, scrubbing floors, light fixtures, drawers, cupboards and so on and so on and so on until...

Viola!  Perfection!  

Well...not really...

Cos no matter how compulsive we are or how wacko-doodle we behave there is virtually no home that is totally and utterly clean!  Noppers!  Even the cleanest house harbours those illusive germs that gather and grow after midnight.  Well...actually all the time!

Didja know places like faucet aerators grow gazillions of black, moldy bugs?  Or handles on the fridge, doors, cupboards or toilet tank test positively all the time for those germs?

And OMGoodness!  What about that no-mans land above the cupboards?  How often do we look there...honestly!  Jet tubs that never, I mean ever, get the jet pipes blown out by disinfectant!  Or how about...electronics like the TV remote, keyboard, iPhone, etc??  But...most of all...the biggest germy germ in your home is...

YOU!

Yes, you who works so darn hard to Spring clean bring in bugs all the time, depositing them here, there, everywhere!  However..

the good news is that we don't need or want a sterile environment.  It is far more healthier for our immune system to be exposed to some germs so, go ahead, scrub, polish and shine away.  Your home may never be completely spotless, but ohhh...what a great feeling when the Spring cleaning is over and everything looks and smells so clean!

Now, get outside and play in the dirt!  It'll definitely keep you healthier!

*************************************************

Toodle Loo!

What do you Bring...

Miss J and I have often discussed (we don't talk or visit, we discuss!) that the type of emotional energy you bring into a room is your responsibility.  I believe this is true.  The attitude I bring with me can and often will effect how others will be affected.  Bad mood, good mood, depressed, joyful...will affect my experience and anyone else who is within spitting distance.  So, we should care.  We should wish to bring light, not darkness into this world.

We should care, but we don't always.

Years ago I ran a small coffee shop and I recall how one of my employees (and friends) could be very careless about how she'd approach work.  When happy she was delightful to be around and extremely pleasant and helpful toward customers, but when she had troubles, well let's just say; everyone paid! I was forced to sit her down and explain that although I really did care about her difficulties and after work we could have a "bitch and moan" session to her heart's delight, but...  when she crossed the threshold into work she HAD to leave her issues outside and be pleasant and agreeable.

I explained that our customers don't care about the reasons for her bad mood and nor did they deserve the fallout.  It didn't matter if she was hurt, angry or depressed; customers came in to get a coffee and perhaps, a donut, not to be subjected to her dark mood.  She must leave it outside and put on a "happy face"!  Harsh maybe, true yes!

I didn't think about it as being responsible for "the energy" she brought into the workplace, but that's exactly what I was asking.  Move over Oprah, I said it first!  Ha ha

Anyway, I digress.

Having said this and believing that we are responsible for the energy we bring into a room; what about those who well...


Don't give a damn?   What are we suppose to do with that?

If we're responsible for the energy we bring into a room, are we also, responsible for how we ALLOW someone's negative energy to affect us?

I say, yes we are...

We can't always pick and choose were we will be; certain situations such as our workplace or family gatherings may have "Negative Nellie's" surrounding us.  We can't avoid naysayers, yet we can decide not to allow their negativity to be a downer.  It is a challenge to rise above it.  Darkness constantly tries to swallow the light, but...

I heard this quote many years ago and it's worth remembering...place it in your conscious mind...so, when you encounter negative people, you'll have a method to fight back...

When there are two rooms side by side; one in darkness and one in light and a door is opened between them, the room with light will ALWAYS spill into the dark room...never, ever will the darkness fill the lighted room.  Remember this.

Even if you are the only light in a negative environment you can refuse to allow the darkness to affect you and you will prevail.  In fact, you may even lift everyone else above the gloom.  Darkness cannot stand up to the light!

Always try to be a light...

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Ta ta!

I'd Rather Do Something Else...

I make plans.  I have a To Do list.  I am armed and ready.  This shall be a classic week where I accomplish most (if not all) my plans.  Yuppers...until...

I. Get. Distracted.

Which happens ALL the time!  Is this just me?  Please, please, tell me not!

I could blame it on menopause brain or growing older, except that it's been my problem since grade school.  Examples:  "Barbara would do so much better in her schoolwork if she wasn't so easily distracted."  " Barbara lacks focus and concentration, therefore not fulfilling her potential."

Hmmm...it seems this has been a lifelong habit.  And I do say, habit because when I NEED to focus I have the tenacity to drive people crazy!

I hate it!  I hate the fact, that I almost always wait until a crisis or at the very least, a "have to" before I'll buckle down and get the job done.

I know there is an actual disorder called ADD aka Attention Deficit Disorder. But this isn't me...nope...I suffer from IRDSE aka I'd Rather Do Something Else.  I do believe there are true cases of ADD among us and I genuinely feel empathy for these folks.  However...

I wonder how many kids and adults actually suffer from IRDSE?  In the case of children (and some adults) it may be more likely a case of IRBP aka I'd Rather Be Playing... 

Yes, indeedy...

I use distraction as an excuse to procrastinate!

How pathetic is that??  It's a wonder I get anything done!  Or maybe it's a matter of opinion?  Hmmm...

Nevertheless, I would like to make the promise to avoid distractions and focus, focus, focus!  But, I'd have to be confined to a 4x4 foot cell with nothing, nada, zippo in there to distract me because I am an expert, I mean a REAL EXPERT at finding distractions.  I could write a book about it except...

IRDSE!!

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Ta Ta!

My theories...Hmmm...

I had my mind on a most inspired post for the past few days, but was unable to get it written.  Well...
I should have jotted down the gist of it because, guess what?  It's gone, zippo, vanished, departed somewhere into the nether lands of blogging ideas!  But, not to despair for I am still full of innocuous bits of wisdom (???).

I have a theory about this winter of 2013/14...  While the snow piles up and up and up I'm reminded of the winters I experienced as a kid, where huge drifts created temporary toboggan runs and it was possible to make elaborate snow forts and the world was a winter wonderland that lasted until at least, April.  Winter was winter!  The seasons were very distinct and yes, I grew up on the Alberta prairies, not the Arctic!

Sadly, over that past few decades, so-called global warming (fodder for another blog) has seen less and less snow in winter, too warm temperatures and seasons that just kinda blurred into each other.  Without getting into the controversy about climate change; here is my theory...

What if...due to heightened awareness of the impact our carbon footprint leaves on the planet and the strides taken (or enforced) that have caused many of us to reduce pollution is actually starting to work?

What if... the reason this winter and even the mighty rains of Spring 2013 are in fact, the earth trying to heal herself?

What if... our efforts are beginning to pay off and we're returning to the well-defined separation of seasons, instead of schizo weather patterns that create +20C in January and -5 C July?  Time will tell...Hmmmm...

And then there is Miley...

Whasup???  Miley fully dressed and fairly low-keyed for New York's 2014 celebration?  I actually enjoyed her performance except for the tongue thang...but even that was somewhat restrained.  I have a thought...oh oh

Maybe Miley Cryus isn't the twerking, blonde bimbo one might think she is...

Maybe, just maybe, she is quite brilliant...(don't shoot me!!)

What if she pushed the shock envelope knowingly, destroying all Hannah Montana images, while flabbergasting everyone with her antics and new personification, thus creating worldwide attention?  I mean, she even stole the show at the AMA's from Lady Gaga and her human horse, not an easy feat!

Perhaps, this blonde dynamo realized that in order to produce a buzz, she'd have to go to extremes to shock, start controversy and upstage her peers?  And now...that she has succeeded perhaps, the more controlled New Years bash will set the stage for a less contentious Miley in 2014?  Time will tell...Hmmmm...

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Tha..tha..that's all Folks!

One Word...

It's that time of year when we make new resolutions, commitments to improve our life's and ourselves.  We begin with high motivation; resolved to do better, be better.  But usually by mid-February these promises begin to fizzle...if not earlier.  So, this year I decided not to make any fleeting resolutions that only make me feel like a failure...again.  No, this year, I've decided to entrust just one word to changing.

Not two words, not a phrase, just one word...

I read about this concept shortly before Christmas and thought, "Yea, I can do this, sure I can."  The inspiration behind the idea was that resolutions, albeit an excellent idea, just don't work out for most folks.  And since I'm "most folks", I agreed that year after year I have made and broken the same old resolutions again and again.

The article explained that in prayerful meditation, we ask to be guided to the one word that God would have us focus on throughout 2014.  How would I know which word was the one?  The article said, it would be much like falling into true love...it would simply feel right...resonate in my spirit.

Many words came to me at first; words like organize, write, health and exercise.  The usual array of practical words that fill a resolution.  None of them felt right.  So, I refocused on less practical and more spiritual expressions such as love, harmony, peace and faith.  Ditto for still not feeling right, so...

What to do? What to do?

I did what any reasonable, red-blooded gal would do...I decided it was all poppycock and gave up! Then...

finally, after I got out of the way, God could have his say...

Out of the blue, not even thinking about that so-called inspiring article, a word popped into my head and would not be denied.  Glory...one word!

Glory?  What the heck was I to do with this?  Glory?  Surely it must be glorify?  I can do something with glorify.  Glorify God...glorify others...glorify the planet...  But glorify wasn't the one word, it was GLORY!  (my, my God must shake his head at me!)

Okay, okay... but what's the big deal?  Glory, glorify... what's the difference?

But, there is a difference.  Bringing glory is more about what we do to honour or value what we glorify.  It is a subtle difference, but distinct.  I bring glory to God, family, friends, country, etc., by glorifying them through my actions.  In other words, on a practical note, I bring glory to my community by speaking praises to others about it.  I bring glory to my friends by keeping their confidences.  We bring glory (noun) so we can glorify (verb).

I struggled somewhat with the small difference; it is easily confusticated... however I finally saw why God insisted on my one word to remain glory...

This year is not meant for merely paying lip service to glorifying whatever is meaningful to me, but actually doing the work to show it.  Anyone, including myself, can claim to glorify, but making the effort to show it is a commitment.

It would seem, then, glory is my one word for 2014.  It feels right. It resonates in my spirit. So, how can I best glorify my family, my God, my friends, my work, myself everyday?   It will require reflection, prayer, staying in the moment... It will be a great challenge, but the article claimed that our one word will change us, refine us and make us better people.  And...

isn't that what New Year resolutions are suppose to do?

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Until we meet again...