A Rant...

This subject as bothered me for awhile and I may risk getting shot by some women, but...

why is it some women insist on invading private men's clubs?  Why can't men have the right to join an exclusive club where they can gather and share common interests (grunting, farting, guzzling) without worrying about offending some broad?  Because let's face it gals, we would change the entire dynamics of the club.   You know we would...

Most men are different around their wife's, mother's, sister's, etc., than they are with their men friends.  They usually try to be more respectful and well.. sensitive to what they believe is our more delicate natures.  Being delicate may or may not be true...as I've been known to swear, spit and  fart like a truck driver, however, I don't much like it when a man shows little or no restraint in his "manly" behavior. grunt...belch...grrr

Another thing...men generally enjoy different activities, conversation, surroundings, food, etc., than women.  I'm not saying a women can't play poker, talk about car engines, hang out in a smoky basement or eat super-charged spicy nachos, but...really, ladies...is this truly your idea of a fun-filled evening??

Let's face it.  Women and men are not much alike and odds are we'd pressure the poor guys to clean up their habits (like we do when we marry them...come on admit it...) and their men's club would eventually look like this...

• a new dress code would be implemented (no more baggy,grease stained jogging pants, lace less runners and ripped t-shirts from 1980)
• all men must shower, smell good and be clean-shaved
• no more Doritos from the bag and extra, extra hot salsa
• no more spitting, hawking, arm-pit farting
• there can still be poker games, but a reasonable ante and no more scantly clad women on the deck of cards
• swearing is allowed, but no f-bombs, the "c" word or other obscenity
• enough with the talk about fast cars, misspent youth, sports!  Let's discuss current events, child rearing methods and career goals
• a reasonable curfew, after all there is church tomorrow

Yes indeedy...things would change and suddenly the men's club has become a women's club.

So...

why not just join a women's club and leave the men to fart in peace?

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Tootle Loo!    

A Letter to God...

Dear God,

Hello from me.  It's been awhile since we've gotten together or really talked.  You know I've been so busy, busy, busy...

I've been doing well and standing staunchly on my own.  Yes, indeedy, you'd be proud.  Heh, didja hear I started a new job?  And moved to the city?   Yuppers, in fact, I started a whole new life!

Yes, I finally left the family like I've been threatening to for how many years?  They just didn't "get" me...you know how that goes?

The new job is quite a departure from my old one, but heh, you know what they say...a change is better than a rest.  My apartment is quite small, but I don't mind because I don't have that much stuff anyway. 

I wanted to bring along my old dog, Buster (can you believe he's still around?) but, it wasn't a good idea since I didn't know where I'd land when I left.  Still...I sure miss his wagging tail and happy barks when he saw me...

Haven't talked to any of my old friends lately, but I heard through the grapevine that they're very concerned about me.  Ha ha  They just don't "get" me either...

The city life does take some getting use to, but I'm learning the transit system and NOT getting lost too often!  Sure wish I could afford a car...  It'd be nice to be able to take a drive in the country on the weekends.  You know, get away from the "rat race"!  Yea...I sure do miss the fresh air and open spaces.  But...

heh, that's the price of finding yourself, right?

I heard that my best buddy was real sick last month, but sadly I couldn't get time off (new job) from work.  I know you'll look in...

I don't go out much anymore.  Just work, work, work!  But then I don't really know anyone anyway and who wants to go places alone, right?  Sure do miss the old gang sometimes...wonder how their doing?  But heh, while they"re stuck in their "day in and day out" lives; I'm rockin' the city life!

But, enough about me.  How are you doing?  Still busy watching over everyone? Ha ha  Can count on you to always be there for everyone.  Heh, didja get the new church built yet?  Yea, I bet it's been long time built.  You always got the job done by hook or by crook!

I imagine you're still helping out all over the community.  Gosh, it's great how you find the time.  But then you always do...  People sure would miss you if you ever left.

Well, I guess I should wrap up now...early morning coming...another long day. chuckle 

Listen if you ever get a chance to come to the city; I'd love to get together.  We could go out on the town or if not, spend a quiet night in.  It doesn't matter to me, it would be just wonderful to spend some time with ya.  You know...like ol' times...

Take care...love ya...miss you...

Here's Looking at You...

Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me, I want people to know why I look this way.
I've travelled a long way & some of the roads weren't paved.

 

When I was younger I was concerned about hanging on to every shred of youthfulness I could muster, dreading the day when I'd move slower, look older, act old...  BE OLD!!

 

Icky, Ugh, Phew, Yuck!!!

 

But despite all my efforts at financing the ageless skin care market or...

 

hanging onto every word from the primped, plucked and molded 40+ Barbie Dolls or...

 

drooling over retouched, modified and air-brushed pictures of Hollywood glamour queens...

 

time marched on and I still got older.  Icky, Ugh, Phew, Yuck!!!

 

I dreaded aging and could think of no worse fate, until...one day, out of the blue, it occurred to me that...

 

Heh, there are certain advantages, rights and privileges being older permits.  Yuppers!  Getting old can be a wonderful thang!  Don't think so?  Well...how about...

 

Other than watching one's state of health, no more worrying about your face or figure!  Yippee ki yea!  Let's face it, after "a certain age" what does it matter if your arse arrives 5 minutes later than your feet?  Or gravity has given you a decidedly hang-dog (jowls...egads!) profile.  Woof Woof

 

No more huffing and puffing while trying to do step aerobics, zumba or some such inane, odious activity.  Walking to the Seniors Club is sufficient exercise, yes sirree!

 

Then there are those distasteful people you always wanted to spit on, but felt obligated to exert self-restraint. Well...no more! Spit away!  Everyone (including the person you spit on) will just think you're going senile!

Life is uncertain...eat dessert first!  No one will say anything, afterall you're old and...possibly dyslexic.

You can stay up reading until 4AM and just say you, "lost track of time".  Take advantage of being forgetful and hard of hearing, even if you're not.  No one will be the wiser...

You can play Barbie or army men and everyone will think you're just being grandfatherly or grandmotherly.  You know ya wanna...just don't forget to include at least one child!

Oh yes, then there are the Senior discounts, Senior days, Senior medicare...oh me, oh my...

 

Yuppers, growing older may not be what we'd prefer, but might as well have fun with it!

 

 

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Ta Ta!

 

 

 

Sweeter than Sweet...

What does finding the "Sweet Spot" mean?  The original definition was:

Noun:  the point or area on a bat, club, or racket at which it makes most effective contact with the ball.

Nowadays, it generally means finding that place where the most perfect or optimal results are achieved (Most often it refers to worldly success). We all live for that moment, don't we?  That sweeter than sweet place where our plans come together, everything is wonderfully victorious and all is right with the world.  But...

how often do we find the "Sweet Spot"?  Not often...

Which makes me ponder why?  Why is it so difficult for us to find that place of the most perfect results?  Could one reason be that our idea of "most perfect" is crazy unrealistic?  Do we expect it to be easy peasy...faultless...excessively gratifying...

Is anything worth achieving ever easy, perfect or even entirely enjoyable?  Do we give up the search because it gets too difficult? Some of us do quit when we discover that finding the sweet spot may require years of blood, sweat and tears.  There can be many, many stumbling blocks, painful sacrifices, flawed results, but...if we hang in...if we have faith...

when it is found...felt...achieved...

There is NOTHING, NADA, ZERO like it!  No Sirree!  However...

Worldly achievement is only one aspect.  I don't think the above definitions are entirely complete or accurate.  There is also, a sweet spot of the heart. Those things that are more personal, private, spiritual?  This too, can take countless heart-breaking attempts to find that most perfect place.  But...it is in our most divine moments, right in the middle of our anguish, that we discover God and His full intention for our life and...ultimately

when that "Sweet Spot" is found...felt...achieved...

There is nothing this world can offer that is more GLORIOUS!