Before the Fall...

I've been following a loverly, young women's blog and am so impressed with her insights, wisdom and honesty, especially considering her youth.  NOT that you need to be older to have wisdom (I surely know several who are not!) but, often it's life experiences and our journey with Jesus that help us gain insight to live in grace.  If this blog by  Mandy Scarr is any indication of the grace in which she now lives, then she is miles ahead of where I was at her age.  For this I admit a twinge of jealousy but, just a wee twinge!

Anyway, in keeping with my last post regarding time wasters, her most recent posts are tackling the subject of self-discipline, something I believe, that many of us struggle to attain (do check her out).  At least, I struggle...

There was a time (not so long ago) when I would've considered myself quite organized, efficient and disciplined.  At least, about most things.  In fact, it was a point of pride with me.  Huh huh...then four years ago I suffered a serious back injury, requiring surgery and all my organized, efficient and disciplined ways flew out the window!  Yuppers...no longer was I even able to keep up, let alone be smug about it.

But...I did finally have the surgery and although I will likely never be in tip top shape (not that I ever was) I am in far better condition to tackle life once again in a more efficient,organized and disciplined manner.  But here's the thang...

I'M FAILING MISERABLY AT IT!!

I understand I'm not able to do all I use to in the same expedient manner, but honestly if I were any more unproductive I'd be comatose!  Why! Why! Why?  I use to be so darned good at multi-tasking, making the most of my time and well...just remarkable!  Huh huh...

me thinks I found the source of the entire fiasco!  Pride...

Could it be God has been trying to knock me off my high and mighty throne?  Rea..lly? 

 Do I still want to take all the credit for being so self-disciplined?  Yuppers, 'tis true...  I apparently hadn't really been humbled by my loss of efficiency; it was far too easy to blame the injury, the pain.  I may have talked the talk and said my self-discipline was a gift from God, but in truth, I owned it.  It was me...me...me...me...

But, God is full of grace and mercy!  First He got me pondering about time-wasters, then He had me run across Mandy Scarr's blog, then He thumped me with the revelation that my failure to get my act together was...

My Pride...still!

So, here I am finally, humbly asking God if He'd be so kind to show me grace and help me be more disciplined...a fruit of the Spirit.  Amen...