Being Traumatized...

I wanted to feel traumatized when I heard about the bombing in Boston.  I wanted to be, but I wasn't.  This grieves me greatly. 

I did feel...

• deeply saddened for all those who lost their life's or were grievously injured
• heartbroken for the families and friends who were affected 
• disgusted with this horrible action by, the then, unknown suspects
• baffled about what possible motive or gain
• profoundly disturbed by the endless display of wanton violence in this day and age

but...

shocked, stunned, appalled by another act of brutality in this world, well...

no, I wasn't.

Have I become so jaded in my old age that cruelty and bloodshed doesn't shake me up? NO!  I will never get use to or accept all the hostility and hatred that exists, but I admit I may be world-weary.  I have lived too long to idealize the present state of mankind. The seemingly endless means of producing suffering that continues to flourish, fails to surprise me anymore.

I never would have imagined 40 years ago that someone could dare bomb a world-famous marathon?  I would have been utterly shocked, stunned and appalled, but today... well...

 I almost expect some type of assault happening at any large gathering of people.

If it doesn't happen, I heave a sigh of relief, thanking God that another event went unmolested.  But when it does happen... I feel horrible, not horrified.  Why?  I'm not heartless or cold...

It...just...happens...too...often!

Then today's media replays the ordeal over and over and over.  So, like treating someone's phobia by exposing them repeatedly to what they fear; the endless spiel of  repeatedly viewing the tragedy, ultimately (I believe) desensitizes me. There has to be a better way to inform me other than overdosing on all the gory images.

Yes, we live in a world where violence has become almost everyday "normal".

This is not right...

This is not moral...

This does horrify me and I pray it horrifies you, too.