Friday, December 20, 2013

A Duck Rant...


Well, I just have to put my two cents worth into the huge controversy stirred up by Phil Robertson of Duck Dynasty.

These are two quotes from GQ Magazine on Phil's take on homosexuality and sin:

“It seems like, to me, a vagina—as a man—would be more desirable than a man’s anus. That’s just me. I’m just thinking: There’s more there! She’s got more to offer. I mean, come on, dudes! You know what I’m saying? But hey, sin: It’s not logical, my man. It’s just not logical.”


“Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” he says. Then he paraphrases Corinthians: “Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.”

Definitely not "politically correct"... definitely not for those with "delicate sensibilities".   Nopers!   But, I'm so impressed that finally a Christian has the balls to state his beliefs because of his faith, even though being an honest Christian these days is about as popular as the squirrel meat Phil Robertson loves so much.  

The GQ reporter asked the controversial question, "What, in your mind, is sinful?"

Why are so many offended?  What did people expect he'd say?  Phil Robertson is Christian.  He isn't gonna say God gives the sin of homosexuality a pass anymore than any sin.  And...

why, oh why, is the media mainly raging about Phil's so-called homophobic reaction to the question when he also, stated that adulterers, prostitutes, the greedy, drunkards, slanders or swindlers don't get a pass either?  What??  Are the drunks too drunk to care or the swindlers too busy stealing?

Come on people, for those of us who are Christian... it is all sin, we are all sinners!  And...

NO, he did not say that homosexuals are likely to practise bestiality, even though some folks in social media have accused him of it - read the quote guys!  And...

another thing, why is it whenever a Christian states something a tad "unpopular" we're accused of being intolerant, judgemental, bigoted, ignorant or fanatical?  Who is really being judged???

Also, shame on GQ for asking a question that they knew (no matter how politically correct Phil might have answered) was gonna start a media firestorm...are you that desperate for sales??  And..

Shame on A&E for lacking courage to stand by one of their top money-making shows when they knew these were Christian folks when they hired them.  I hope the Robertson family ditches A&E and another more courageous network picks Duck Dynasty up...Oprah are you listenin'...

I could say so much more, but... Nuff said...except...one more thing...

Not impressed ET Canada, with the implication that Phil is just an ignorant, old, backwoods character that is best ignored.  You may be surprised what we Christians can get up to when fired up!

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Tuesday, December 17, 2013

The State Trooper

This video is so awesome, I hope you'll take a moment to watch and listen. So speaks of how great our God is!  Made me cry...enjoy!


Merry Christmas!!

Friday, December 6, 2013

Deck the Halls...

Okay, there is something to be said about starting Christmas preparations in October or even, November.  It is December 6th and I have a nasty head cold and almost my entire Christmas prep list to accomplish.  Hummm...not sure how I'll do it?  By the grace of God go I...

Anyway, I got the Christmas decorating done yesterday. Yippee!  I use to do much more elaborate decking the halls in the ole days, but with just Hubby, myself and puppy I'm far less motivated.  Plus, we spend Christmas Eve and day at our daughter's homes.  Also, I've found as I get older well...I'm not really up to it any longer (my bad back makes an excellent excuse!).  Besides, I passed much of my holiday decorations onto my girls and the baton moves on.  Huh uh...


Now I promise you my decor does NOT look anything like this...


Or this...


But, not quite as bad has this...


or this...


In fact, you could say I used the K.I.S.S. (keep it simple stupid!) method...






Not exactly award winning, but it helps (with Christmas carols) to put me in the Christmas frame of mind...

and heh, isn't that the most important thang!!

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I shall keep you all posted on my progress, cold and all!  Sniff sniff sneeze


Friday, November 22, 2013

Un-Resolutions for 2014...


It's coming to that time of year when so many of us start thinking about the new year, new resolutions and turning over a new leaf.  Yuppers, we're always trying to improve ourselves and our life's. However, this got me to pondering why most resolutions fail?

Is it because we make totally unrealistic goals?  So often we ask of ourselves the impossible because we are determined to "fix" everything overnight.  We attempt to lose 50 pounds by April when we probably should try to set a more reasonable goal of perhaps, 20 pounds in a year or about 1.5 pounds per month.  Or...

we decide to exercise 1 hour every other day when we haven't exercised in 10 years or...

read 2 books per month when we usually don't read at all or...

you get the picture.

Most of us are aware of creating a workable plan, setting realistic, measurable goals, tracking our progress, etc., etc.  Right?  So, why it is we commonly fail at maintaining our objectives much past March???

Perhaps, we've been going about change all wrong.  Perhaps, we need to do it different this year. Maybe we need to focus on getting happy and being okay with ourselves just as we are for the next year.  Maybe we should pursue contentment with our life's, our bodies, our circumstances...maybe we need to make some un-resolutions for 2014!

I'm not suggesting that change is bad or resolutions are not worthwhile, but possibly we'd would have a better chance of succeeding if we started from a place of gratitude...being at ease with ourselves.

Psalm 139:14

I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.

How about if we spent 2014 being okay with our life and ourselves instead of despising how we look, how we act, where we live or what we do?  What if we focused on the positive?  I mean really focused... 

on how wonderfully well God made us and affirm it by being grateful.  What if instead...
  1. of resolving to lose those extra 20 pounds we embraced our health and well-being
  2. instead of forcing ourselves into a dreaded exercise program, we learned to listen to our bodies and be thankful that we can move them freely in dance or walking or swimming or whatever is enjoyable
  3. we approached our job as serving a higher purpose than collecting a pay cheque; like providing for the family we love, engaging with people we enjoy or perhaps, showing us the need to reeducate and move on.
  4. of detesting our home, we became grateful for the shelter it affords us and our loved ones, a place to share precious time with friends or a sanctuary where we can relax and be safe.
What if we spent 2014 as the year of un-change?  Why not?  At the very least, we won't feel so depressed because we failed, yet again at keeping our New Years resolutions.  And who knows...

we may come out of the year with an entirely new perspective!  


Thursday, November 21, 2013

Sorrow is a Blessing...

"Earth has no sorrow heaven cannot heal."

I like this quote, it gives me hope and it got me pondering what sorrow really means to me. Initially, I felt that sorrow is something to avoid at all costs. Yet, to avoid sorrow,  I'd have to avoid caring...about anything or anybody.  Because if I care then I open myself to sorrow.  If I don't care, I live a shadow life, so I do not want to avoid feeling sorrow.  But on the other hand...

no normal person wishes to suffer loss of any kind, right?  But loss and sorrow are part of life.  People leave us, disappoint us, exploit us.  Things wear out, get stolen, lost.  We'll never get away without experiencing it and maybe...just maybe it's best that we don't because...

sorrow is necessary.  Yes, you heard me right!  

Sorrow teaches us many lessons that we might not learn otherwise.  Some of those lessons are:
  • Empathy - there is nothing like having gone through a similar loss to sympathize with others
  • Priorities - it is so easy to fill our time being consumed with non-important and irrelevant things until we lose something or someone significant.  Sadly, this is often a lesson taught the hard way.
  • Brevity - in loss we discover how short time really is and how important it is to not waste our minutes.  Again, another lesson often learned the hard way.
  • Humility -  it is so easy to feel chosen by God and grow arrogant when we haven't suffered a great loss.  Sorrow knows no boundaries. It is not biased.  No one is immune to it.
  • Value - this is a kissing cousin to priorities, but I felt it deserved it's own place on this list. Sorrow teaches us to value and take care of those things and people who matter most, knowing that nothing lasts forever.
  • Gratitude - this is the most important lesson as it encompasses all the others.  Sorrow teaches us to fully appreciate and thank God for our blessings.  Gratitude helps us set priorities, be humble, value our gifts, realize how little time we have and empathize with others.  It is the ointment that heals our wounds and gives us hope, thus the meaning behind...
"Earth has no sorrow heaven cannot heal."

This is my list.  I'm sure you, Faithful Reader, can think of even more reasons why sorrow is necessary.  Please share as I always look for ways to become more enlightened.



Wednesday, November 20, 2013

Irish Twins...

"You're 14 weeks pregnant, Barb."  Did I hear right?  This could not be...I had a five month old baby a home!  Impossible!  Someone got the test wrong!  Check again!

But no, it was true. One time...one time unprotected sex and I got pregnant.  No one gets pregnant 4 weeks after having a baby.  Honestly!  But there I was 5 months post-pregnancy and knocked up again!  I was not happy...and that is the honest to God truth!


I was only planning to have one child.  Not because I didn't like children, quite the contrary.  But I was very fearful about being a mother.  I wasn't sure I could do a good job and I didn't want to be responsible for screwing up my own child's life.  Hubby had convinced me that maybe...just maybe I could do a decent job raising one.  So, I'd agreed and I already had my hands full with my first born, Jamie. And now... there were going to be two... Irish Twins!  I couldn't do it!!

I wanted to run from this and would have if it were possible, but the only option (late term abortion) was absolutely not an option.  So, despite my fears and many selfish ways, I stifled my dread, put on my "big girl" panties and forged ahead.  I was determined I could get through this...

I dug my heels in, got down into the trenches and toughed it out.  But whoa to my Jamie, Hubby and my unborn child!

So, I dutifully took care of business, but where did loving mommy and sweet wife go?  I felt so alone and so miserable. No matter how much I wanted to look forward to another baby; self pity kept getting in my way.  My sister was the only person that I expressed the full extent of my unhappiness and ...oh, did I whine to her...day after day, after day...

until one day...she had enough.  She told me to smarten up.  She asked me if Hubby had raped me?  She asked if I wanted to do to this unborn child what was done to her (she hadn't been wanted by our mother)?  She asked if I intended to blame and be miserable (like our mother), accusing this child of ruining my well-planned life?  She handed me the tough love no one else dared...and I thank her to this day.

I cried then and for many days later.  My dearest sister opened the flood gates and all my fears and insecurities poured out.  I held my Jamie and cried in remorse for being so resentful toward her future brother or sister.  I hated being fearful and weak, but I just couldn't imagine having two babies needing me; expecting me to be a good mother.  I just didn't think I was capable.  So...

I cried and I prayed for weeks, until...finally after a particularly difficult day with my teething baby girl, I raised my swollen eyes to Heaven and pleaded with God to change my heart.  I'd like to say that a miracle happened in that moment, but it did not.  However, in time I felt something break inside me like a poison being released.  All the bitterness, self-pity and resentment  finally seeped away...and a quiet calm fell over me.

In that moment, I knew...I knew...I was going to be okay.  We were going to be okay.

I felt the baby kick and for the first time in this pregnancy I felt something new; anticipation!  There were more kicks and lots of restless movements as if the baby could tell something was different. Something worth dancing over.  I wondered who this precious, little person would be?  What should I name her?  What will she be like?  How much Jamie needed a little sister...

Call it wishful thinking or revealed from God, but I knew in that moment the baby was another little girl and that made me surprisingly joyful.

Hubby and I chose the name Kelly for the baby; he said it would fit a boy or girl, while I secretly smiled.

She came into the world 10 1/2 months after Jamie was born.  My girls were the same age for almost
6 weeks, thus Irish Twins!  Kelly, an Irish name, meaning "warrior".  How ironic!  And a warrior she is...

My baby...my warrior...who overcame her mother's bitterness and resentment, who completed our family and...

who proved to me all things are possible!


Friday, November 1, 2013

When I get to Heaven...



I shall pick flowers of all kinds
out of other people's gardens,
and no one will mind.
I shall gather dust motes
in pillowcases and spread
them in clean places.
I shall spend my days
crocheting snowflakes and
knitting angel wings.
When I get to Heaven I shall eat
Spam with barbecue chips,
on white bread.
I shall slurp my soup and blow
bubbles in my juice.
I shall wear sandals in Winter and
galoshes in Spring.
I shall sing glorious praises
that don't rhyme and
are off key.
I shall hear laughter, merriment
and joy.
When I get to Heaven I shall
borrow someones trumpet and
 join the choir.
I shall wash other's feet and
paint rainbows on their toenails.
But above all, when I get there
I shall kneel before the throne
with bowed head ,
in gratitude,
for all the love
given me;
before I ever got to Heaven.

bjmorden

Saturday, October 26, 2013

A Rant...

This subject as bothered me for awhile and I may risk getting shot by some women, but...

why is it some women insist on invading private men's clubs?  Why can't men have the right to join an exclusive club where they can gather and share common interests (grunting, farting, guzzling) without worrying about offending some broad?  Because let's face it gals, we would change the entire dynamics of the club.   You know we would...



Most men are different around their wife's, mother's, sister's, etc., than they are with their men friends.  They usually try to be more respectful and well.. sensitive to what they believe is our more delicate natures.  Being delicate may or may not be true...as I've been known to swear, spit and  fart like a truck driver, however, I don't much like it when a man shows little or no restraint in his "manly" behavior. grunt...belch...grrr

Another thing...men generally enjoy different activities, conversation, surroundings, food, etc., than women.  I'm not saying a women can't play poker, talk about car engines, hang out in a smoky basement or eat super-charged spicy nachos, but...really, ladies...is this truly your idea of a fun-filled evening??

Let's face it.  Women and men are not much alike and odds are we'd pressure the poor guys to clean up their habits (like we do when we marry them...come on admit it...) and their men's club would eventually look like this...

  • a new dress code would be implemented (no more baggy,grease stained jogging pants, lace less runners and ripped t-shirts from 1980)
  • all men must shower, smell good and be clean-shaved
  • no more Doritos from the bag and extra, extra hot salsa
  • no more spitting, hawking, arm-pit farting
  • there can still be poker games, but a reasonable ante and no more scantly clad women on the deck of cards
  • swearing is allowed, but no f-bombs, the "c" word or other obscenity
  • enough with the talk about fast cars, misspent youth, sports!  Let's discuss current events, child rearing methods and career goals
  • a reasonable curfew, after all there is church tomorrow
Yes indeedy...things would change and suddenly the men's club has become a women's club.

So...

why not just join a women's club and leave the men to fart in peace?

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Tootle Loo!    

Friday, October 25, 2013

A Letter to God...

Dear God,

Hello from me.  It's been awhile since we've gotten together or really talked.  You know I've been so busy, busy, busy...

I've been doing well and standing staunchly on my own.  Yes, indeedy, you'd be proud.  Heh, didja hear I started a new job?  And moved to the city?   Yuppers, in fact, I started a whole new life!

Yes, I finally left the family like I've been threatening to for how many years?  They just didn't "get" me...you know how that goes?

The new job is quite a departure from my old one, but heh, you know what they say...a change is better than a rest.  My apartment is quite small, but I don't mind because I don't have that much stuff anyway. 

I wanted to bring along my old dog, Buster (can you believe he's still around?) but, it wasn't a good idea since I didn't know where I'd land when I left.  Still...I sure miss his wagging tail and happy barks when he saw me...

Haven't talked to any of my old friends lately, but I heard through the grapevine that they're very concerned about me.  Ha ha  They just don't "get" me either...

The city life does take some getting use to, but I'm learning the transit system and NOT getting lost too often!  Sure wish I could afford a car...  It'd be nice to be able to take a drive in the country on the weekends.  You know, get away from the "rat race"!  Yea...I sure do miss the fresh air and open spaces.  But...

heh, that's the price of finding yourself, right?

I heard that my best buddy was real sick last month, but sadly I couldn't get time off (new job) from work.  I know you'll look in...

I don't go out much anymore.  Just work, work, work!  But then I don't really know anyone anyway and who wants to go places alone, right?  Sure do miss the old gang sometimes...wonder how their doing?  But heh, while they"re stuck in their "day in and day out" lives; I'm rockin' the city life!

But, enough about me.  How are you doing?  Still busy watching over everyone? Ha ha  Can count on you to always be there for everyone.  Heh, didja get the new church built yet?  Yea, I bet it's been long time built.  You always got the job done by hook or by crook!

I imagine you're still helping out all over the community.  Gosh, it's great how you find the time.  But then you always do...  People sure would miss you if you ever left.

Well, I guess I should wrap up now...early morning coming...another long day. chuckle 

Listen if you ever get a chance to come to the city; I'd love to get together.  We could go out on the town or if not, spend a quiet night in.  It doesn't matter to me, it would be just wonderful to spend some time with ya.  You know...like ol' times...

Take care...love ya...miss you...



Thursday, October 24, 2013

Here's Looking at You...

Some people try to turn back their odometers.
Not me, I want people to know why I look this way.
I've travelled a long way & some of the roads weren't paved.

 


When I was younger I was concerned about hanging on to every shred of youthfulness I could muster, dreading the day when I'd move slower, look older, act old...  BE OLD!!
 
Icky, Ugh, Phew, Yuck!!!
 
But despite all my efforts at financing the ageless skin care market or...
 
hanging onto every word from the primped, plucked and molded 40+ Barbie Dolls or...
 
drooling over retouched, modified and air-brushed pictures of Hollywood glamour queens...
 
time marched on and I still got older.  Icky, Ugh, Phew, Yuck!!!
 
I dreaded aging and could think of no worse fate, until...one day, out of the blue, it occurred to me that...
 
Heh, there are certain advantages, rights and privileges being older permits.  Yuppers!  Getting old can be a wonderful thang!  Don't think so?  Well...how about...
 
Other than watching one's state of health, no more worrying about your face or figure!  Yippee ki yea!  Let's face it, after "a certain age" what does it matter if your arse arrives 5 minutes later than your feet?  Or gravity has given you a decidedly hang-dog (jowls...egads!) profile.  Woof Woof
 
No more huffing and puffing while trying to do step aerobics, zumba or some such inane, odious activity.  Walking to the Seniors Club is sufficient exercise, yes sirree!
 
Then there are those distasteful people you always wanted to spit on, but felt obligated to exert self-restraint. Well...no more! Spit away!  Everyone (including the person you spit on) will just think you're going senile!

Life is uncertain...eat dessert first!  No one will say anything, afterall you're old and...possibly dyslexic.

You can stay up reading until 4AM and just say you, "lost track of time".  Take advantage of being forgetful and hard of hearing, even if you're not.  No one will be the wiser...

You can play Barbie or army men and everyone will think you're just being grandfatherly or grandmotherly.  You know ya wanna...just don't forget to include at least one child!

Oh yes, then there are the Senior discounts, Senior days, Senior medicare...oh me, oh my...
 



Yuppers, growing older may not be what we'd prefer, but might as well have fun with it!
 


 
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Ta Ta!



 
 
 

Sunday, October 13, 2013

Sweeter than Sweet...

What does finding the "Sweet Spot" mean?  The original definition was:


Noun:  the point or area on a bat, club, or racket at which it makes most effective contact with the ball.

Nowadays, it generally means finding that place where the most perfect or optimal results are achieved (Most often it refers to worldly success). We all live for that moment, don't we?  That sweeter than sweet place where our plans come together, everything is wonderfully victorious and all is right with the world.  But...

how often do we find the "Sweet Spot"?  Not often...

Which makes me ponder why?  Why is it so difficult for us to find that place of the most perfect results?  Could one reason be that our idea of "most perfect" is crazy unrealistic?  Do we expect it to be easy peasy...faultless...excessively gratifying...

Is anything worth achieving ever easy, perfect or even entirely enjoyable?  Do we give up the search because it gets too difficult? Some of us do quit when we discover that finding the sweet spot may require years of blood, sweat and tears.  There can be many, many stumbling blocks, painful sacrifices, flawed results, but...if we hang in...if we have faith...

when it is found...felt...achieved...

There is NOTHING, NADA, ZERO like it!  No Sirree!  However...

Worldly achievement is only one aspect.  I don't think the above definitions are entirely complete or accurate.  There is also, a sweet spot of the heart. Those things that are more personal, private, spiritual?  This too, can take countless heart-breaking attempts to find that most perfect place.  But...it is in our most divine moments, right in the middle of our anguish, that we discover God and His full intention for our life and...ultimately

when that "Sweet Spot" is found...felt...achieved...

There is nothing this world can offer that is more GLORIOUS!


Monday, October 7, 2013

The First Act...


So, there we were, my firstborn beautiful, baby girl and I spending our first night at home...

alone...

no nurse to relieve me...

or doctor to encourage me...

no one to support me! 

There's only hubby, blissfully sawing wood in the next room (how did he sleep so peacefully?) while I stared down at this fussy, crying creature in my arms. I didn't want to wake hubby. I didn't want to admit I couldn't handle it, not our first night home!  I was so anxious...I was so tired...I felt like a horrid mother...already!

I'd bathed her, fed her, burped her, changed her and...

NONE OF IT WORKED!!

My sweet, baby girl was not happy and I just didn't know what more I could do to make her happy.  She was stuck with a failure for a mother.  And... where were all those well-wishers who had been in my living room earlier that evening?  The ones who had held and passed my baby girl around like she was some party favour; while fawning and drooling coochy, coochy coo kisses all over her?  Where were they at that midnight hour?  All tucked soundly in their warm beds, not knowing or caring that we were near fit to be tied!

Out of desperation, lack of  a better idea and overwhelming fatigue, I collapsed  into the old fashioned rocking chair that my mom had given me.  There was a slight creak in the wood every time we rocked forward.  Swish, creak, swish, creak, swish, creak...  It was steady, consistent and genuinely...

soothing. 

I could feel myself beginning to relax (despite sweet, baby girl's wails) and my shallow, anxious breathing slowed, slowed...then...miraculously baby girl's cries began to subside.  Her little fists unclenched and I truly felt she was looking up at me in that moment of steady, rhythmic motion and well...thanking me.

Yes indeedy!

I could feel her little body relax, her shakes calm down.  Her little eyes grew heavier, heavier... Oh, bless God and my wonderful mother for the gift of that rocking chair!  Suddenly I knew that we were going to make it through our first night together and in my heart I knew...

if sweet, baby girl and I could do that then we could and would make it through the rest of her life.

I smiled down at my beloved daughter, wiped her tears away (then wiped my tears away!) and rocked, creak, rocked, creak...until we both fell into blissful, blissful sleep.

Friday, October 4, 2013

From the Nursery to the Nursing Home...

Okay, I admit I like to write poetry!  I'm not particularly good at it and I'm certainly no threat to any prominent poet nor...

am I particularly deep, insightful (think Maya Angelou) or intuitive...but, I like to fool around with it now and then.  So, here goes...oh, but first...

General Disclaimer: The following was compiled for my own amusement during (un)reliable moments. It is for entertainment purposes only and is not intended to be taken seriously.


Jake & Jane


Jake & Jane
have brittle bones
barely can they use them.
While Jake does booze
Jane stays loose,
by using a jacuzzi.
Old Mrs Luffet
Old Mrs Luffet
told them to "stuff it!"
Refusing to eat her porridge
The nurse cried, "You'll eat it, or else
we'll force feed it!
Then order you another!"
Made of
What are old men made of?
Stories and mutts
and beer belly guts,
that's what old men are made of.
What are old women made of?
Cookies and pickles
and laughter that tickles,
that's what old women are made of.
Two Old Men
Two old men
sat by the fire
over a snifter of brandy;
Said one old man
to the other old man,
"If I must say, life is dandy!"
Nursing Home
They often sit and wish that they,
could leap right up, then fly away.
To ride upon the wings of hope
to live in dreams the angels wrote.
If they could see beyond this room
 filled with dark and dread and gloom.
Like birds, if they could take to flight
these wings would carry them from sight.
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Until we meet again...

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Before the Fall...

I've been following a loverly, young women's blog and am so impressed with her insights, wisdom and honesty, especially considering her youth.  NOT that you need to be older to have wisdom (I surely know several who are not!) but, often it's life experiences and our journey with Jesus that help us gain insight to live in grace.  If this blog by  Mandy Scarr is any indication of the grace in which she now lives, then she is miles ahead of where I was at her age.  For this I admit a twinge of jealousy but, just a wee twinge!

Anyway, in keeping with my last post regarding time wasters, her most recent posts are tackling the subject of self-discipline, something I believe, that many of us struggle to attain (do check her out).  At least, I struggle...

There was a time (not so long ago) when I would've considered myself quite organized, efficient and disciplined.  At least, about most things.  In fact, it was a point of pride with me.  Huh huh...then four years ago I suffered a serious back injury, requiring surgery and all my organized, efficient and disciplined ways flew out the window!  Yuppers...no longer was I even able to keep up, let alone be smug about it.

But...I did finally have the surgery and although I will likely never be in tip top shape (not that I ever was) I am in far better condition to tackle life once again in a more efficient,organized and disciplined manner.  But here's the thang...

I'M FAILING MISERABLY AT IT!!

I understand I'm not able to do all I use to in the same expedient manner, but honestly if I were any more unproductive I'd be comatose!  Why! Why! Why?  I use to be so darned good at multi-tasking, making the most of my time and well...just remarkable!  Huh huh...

me thinks I found the source of the entire fiasco!  Pride...

Could it be God has been trying to knock me off my high and mighty throne?  Rea..lly? 


 Do I still want to take all the credit for being so self-disciplined?  Yuppers, 'tis true...  I apparently hadn't really been humbled by my loss of efficiency; it was far too easy to blame the injury, the pain.  I may have talked the talk and said my self-discipline was a gift from God, but in truth, I owned it.  It was me...me...me...me...

But, God is full of grace and mercy!  First He got me pondering about time-wasters, then He had me run across Mandy Scarr's blog, then He thumped me with the revelation that my failure to get my act together was...

My Pride...still!

So, here I am finally, humbly asking God if He'd be so kind to show me grace and help me be more disciplined...a fruit of the Spirit.  Amen...

Monday, September 30, 2013

Wasting Away...

After wasting much too much time trying to figure out how to add a page to my blog and have it work properly, I decided I am a moron.  Oh, I googled, I sought help, I followed directions given, but for the life of me, I could not get the page to work like I wanted.  Soooo...

I decided to leave well enough alone and just publish my blogs all on the same page; at least until I figure out what I was doing wrong or someone else does.  I mean, it really doesn't matter and all I did was squander precious time away.  Thus...

MORON!!

This got me pondering how many other things I waste time doing?  Or how much time I've frittered away in my entire life on things that don't matter, no one cares about and are massive time-suckers?  Just offhand I can come up with a scary amount.  For instance...

  • unnecessary cleaning
  • channel surfing
  • Internet surfing
  • fussing over things I can't change
  • mourning past mistakes
  • reading books I didn't enjoy
  • ditto for watching movies
  • spending time with people who bore me to death

And these I thought of in 5 minutes!!  Wowzers!  This is a brutal revelation because although, I knew I wasted some time after 50+ years what if  those seconds, minutes, hours, days actually add up to years!  I don't want to know the full extent!  I could get depressed knowing...and that would be a huge time-sucker!

So, rather than dwell on time departed, I'm going to start asking myself several vital questions like:

  • it this making a positive and loving difference to anyone
  • does it feel satisfying and fulfilling
  • will it matter today, tomorrow, next week...next year
  • does it stretch me intellectually, emotionally, physically or spiritually
  • and perhaps, most importantly, do I want to be remembered for it

If I can't say "yes" to most of these questions maybe, just maybe, there's something better I could be doing with my time...

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Tha..tha...that's all folks!

Sunday, September 29, 2013

Tripping over Myself...

I've raised a family, been married 37 years and survived to talk about it! Wowzers!

To the best of my knowledge (and despite myself) I don't think I screwed up my loverly daughters too much...they appear to be well-adjusted, joyful and caring adults. At least, I tell myself this...

There are no manuals, not really. Oh sure, there are books that are filled with lots of wholesome advice from getting a toddler to sleep to hiding veggies in the cereal, but...once you leave the safety and sanity of those published "how to" guides, you must deal with the reality of fatigue (yours), bad tempers (yours too) and meltdowns (again yours)!

It isn't easy being a mommy. No, nada, hardly! And don't let anyone who has "been there, done that" tell you it is...

however, with a little patience (with yourself) and lots of whiskey just kiddin' , it is the most thrilling and challenging roller coaster ride you'll ever take! But, oh, so scary!


Because, let's face it, no matter how well you follow the guidelines of books, listen (or not) to your mother or heed a friend's always supportive (?) advice or...

no matter how cocky you feel because you got them to 18 without either one of you doing jail time; you can never really be sure of the job you did until they're off into the big, bad world. Dats the true measure of success or failure...AND...even then...when is the credit or blame yours or theirs? Hummm...

So, with all this in mind and of course, my vast experience and wisdom (?) I am going to attempt writing a weekly tidbit on my personal adventures into motherhood.  I hope to publish every Monday, but please don't hold me hostage to this as I may have to attend my Procrastinator's Meeting none and then!

Also, I don't consider myself an expert on the woes or successes of parenting.  These tales are meant to entertain and hopefully, enlightened, but basically...

It's just the way it was.


Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Connect the Dots...


Remember when we were kids we'd play the game "Connect the Dots"? There would be a partial outline and in order to figure out what it was we'd have to connect all the dots correctly to see the full picture.  Something like this...


 
It got me to pondering how life is much like the connect the dots game; done correctly it makes sense, the picture becomes complete, but...done wrong it will end up all wonky.

We are given an outline in the form of our jobs, family, interests, hobby's, friends, whatever.  This outline is meant to give us a general idea how the "big picture"  is suppose to look.

How to connect the dots...

But so often, like a willful five year old, we refuse to follow the pattern and end up with an utter mess on our hands.

What to do, what to do?  The wisest action would be to look at what is already present in our life's and move forward from that point?  Am I good with my hands, but don't have a scholarly aptitude?  Is so, why would I try to please Mom and Dad by going to college to become a doctor?  Maybe I'd be happier becoming a mechanic, especially since my hobby is restoring old cars.  Dah!

How about that I know in my heart that I want to see the world and sail the seven seas.  Why would I get married and settle down, only to be miserable?  Get the picture?  Or...

What if you knew someone loved their job in sales, enjoyed being part of a large family, was interested in planting and growing, volunteered for the community gardens and surrounded themselves with like-minded friends.  Wouldja think this is their outline for life? 

Why, oh why, do we so often lament, "I just don't know why I'm here or what I'm suppose to be doing!"  Dah again!

Is it just too obvious and simple?  What would you tell that person?

Okay, okay, maybe there are a number of possible outlines this person might follow, but come on, everything about this life shouldn't send them down the road to living in a high rise as a recluse!  Right?

Yet...how many of us don't connect the dots correctly and wonder why we're so forlorn and depressed with our life?

I've done this...I do this...

Yes, indeedy I have created the wonkiest pictures because I won't connect the dots properly.  How about you?  
I realize it isn't exactly this simple...there are other factors like personality...upbringing...heritage...experiences...

these all affect who we are and what we'll become, but...here's the big BUT...

Wherever we are in life and no matter what has brought us to the present moment, it's still up to us whether we work with what we have or not.  Connect the dots to complete the picture or...

live with the mess!

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Tootle Loo! 



Sunday, September 22, 2013

Remember... before Men-on-pause...

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"Remember when..."

"I wish I could."

"No really...when night sweats meant making mad, passionate love?"  "Being hot meant you were horny?"

"Oh dear...!"  [blush]
"When your hubby made your heart pitter patter instead causing your pacemaker to short out!?"

"No fair!"  "I don't have a pacemaker."

"Remember when you were game to do it just about anywhere?"

"And now you're game to try to stay awake!"

"Remember when you thought he was the most handsome, sexiest man alive?"

"Ahhh, yes..."

"Oh, and he thought you were a knock out?"

"I still am!"

"Huh huh...dressing young doesn't make you young."


 "Remember when spending time with a man meant a romantic evening?"

"Instead of an evening with the weather anchor!"

"Remember when it mattered how you looked?"

"And now you can't remember the last time you looked!"

"Remember when your hair was long and thick, your skin was smooth?"

"Well...my moustache is long and thick and the skin on my butt is still smooth..."

"Remember before..."
 
"No, but the hubby probably does."

"Remember when you could fall and not get hurt?"


 "Ahhh yes..."

"Remember when you constantly watched what you ate?"

"And now you constantly eat while you watch!"


"Ahhh yes...remember when..."




Monday, September 9, 2013

Over the Top...

After reading this blog about getting a tattoo, specifically a "Tramp Stamp" check it here, I got to pondering the entire idea about adorning our bodies in a permanent fashion and how extreme we've become...

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not against tattoos or piercings, per se, but I do wonder "what were you thinking" when I see how outrageous some people are these days!  I marvel on how I once thought a tongue or nose pierce was excessive or a full sleeve tattoo was radical.  Compared to the goings on today, these are now considered moderate, conservative, normal...

Would you date a guy who sported this tattoo...


Honestly, what would you think when you discovered this one?  Or...


How about dating this guy?  Well...maybe if your name was Brenda...

Then what about the world of piercings?  Why would a pretty, young gal do something like this to her face...


or this?


 I get wanting to be unique, distinctive, decorated...  But, I don't get why anyone would go to such excess?  I'm especially distressed when it's a young person because most will come to deeply regret the follies of their youth. Plus, there may not be much that can be done about it.  Or it could be very expensive and painful to fix. 

I wish common sense would prevail and our youth would realize that these permanent ornaments may not be so "sick" when they get older but, in fact, might make them sick that they ever did it!

Then there are the piercings and tattoos that are really OVER THE TOP...

CRAZY...

WACKADOODLE...

FREAKY...

NUTSO...

Nobody in their right mind would do this to themselves!





Nopers!  This is truly sick!

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Ta Ta!

Friday, September 6, 2013

Just for Fun...




I received this email awhile ago and thought I'd post it to brighten your day...
RETIRED HEALTH MESSAGE
As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's hiney. It's the tortoise life for me!
1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.
2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.
3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.
4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.
And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.
I'm retired. Go around me.
Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:
1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?

16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter..
I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.
19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.


20. DID I SEND THESE TO YOU BEFORE..........??????



Thursday, September 5, 2013

Get You off Your Mind...


Me thinks I know the basic, fundamental reason why so many people these days are unhappy ...

narcissism...

selfishness...

egotism...

vanity...

self-absorption...

In other words, we are our favorite subject to talk about, think about, hear about, worry about...
and do you know what the real truth is?  Most people will forget you five minutes after you've left the building.  Seriously!

You are not that important!

Far too many people today live their life as if the world was created just for them.  They feel entitled to the  "Good Life".  You know the one...

...the big house, new car, perfect job, highest salary, best vacations, model family.

And we make every effort, regardless of who may get hurt, to possess it.  Many succeed.  Yet, never have we lived in a time when relationships are more strained, divorce rates higher, families more estranged.

Is this really the "Good Life"... 

Today's culture supports us in the belief that we are numero uno...special...top dog...extraordinary...

Honestly???  How can that be?  How can every single person be the best?  Quit believing your own press. 

The grocery cashier who has spent 6 hours on her feet, with an aching back, could care less that you put in an extra hour glaming up for your visit to the store.  She doesn't care and never noticed that your hair is perfectly coiffed or you wore 300 dollar designer jeans.  She is just looking forward to going home and putting her feet up.  You are just one of several hundred nameless, faceless people she's ran through her till today.  Really!

Really!

Fellow motorists may notice your fancy new car as you go speeding by...or not...most likely not.  They too, are heading to work, following their dreams, thinking about themselves, believing in the "Good Life".  They really aren't interested your new car...except...unless...

they're planning to buy one themselves.  Only a much newer version...yes, indeedy.

STOP the madness!  A contented life isn't about who owns the newest, biggest, best.  It isn't about what you want or need or what everyone can do for you.  You don't have to feel special to be special.

Try thinking of others more than you do yourself.  Try putting other's needs ahead of your own.  Get your mind off yourself.  Then...and only then will you truly be a big deal in the eyes of others...and God's.


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Tha...that's all folks!