Wasting Away...

After wasting much too much time trying to figure out how to add a page to my blog and have it work properly, I decided I am a moron.  Oh, I googled, I sought help, I followed directions given, but for the life of me, I could not get the page to work like I wanted.  Soooo...

I decided to leave well enough alone and just publish my blogs all on the same page; at least until I figure out what I was doing wrong or someone else does.  I mean, it really doesn't matter and all I did was squander precious time away.  Thus...

MORON!!

This got me pondering how many other things I waste time doing?  Or how much time I've frittered away in my entire life on things that don't matter, no one cares about and are massive time-suckers?  Just offhand I can come up with a scary amount.  For instance...

• unnecessary cleaning
• channel surfing
• Internet surfing
• fussing over things I can't change
• mourning past mistakes
• reading books I didn't enjoy
• ditto for watching movies
• spending time with people who bore me to death

And these I thought of in 5 minutes!!  Wowzers!  This is a brutal revelation because although, I knew I wasted some time after 50+ years what if  those seconds, minutes, hours, days actually add up to years!  I don't want to know the full extent!  I could get depressed knowing...and that would be a huge time-sucker!

So, rather than dwell on time departed, I'm going to start asking myself several vital questions like:

• it this making a positive and loving difference to anyone
• does it feel satisfying and fulfilling
• will it matter today, tomorrow, next week...next year
• does it stretch me intellectually, emotionally, physically or spiritually
• and perhaps, most importantly, do I want to be remembered for it

If I can't say "yes" to most of these questions maybe, just maybe, there's something better I could be doing with my time...

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Tha..tha...that's all folks!

Tripping over Myself...

I've raised a family, been married 37 years and survived to talk about it! Wowzers!

To the best of my knowledge (and despite myself) I don't think I screwed up my loverly daughters too much...they appear to be well-adjusted, joyful and caring adults. At least, I tell myself this...

There are no manuals, not really. Oh sure, there are books that are filled with lots of wholesome advice from getting a toddler to sleep to hiding veggies in the cereal, but...once you leave the safety and sanity of those published "how to" guides, you must deal with the reality of fatigue (yours), bad tempers (yours too) and meltdowns (again yours)!

It isn't easy being a mommy. No, nada, hardly! And don't let anyone who has "been there, done that" tell you it is...

however, with a little patience (with yourself) and lots of whiskey just kiddin' , it is the most thrilling and challenging roller coaster ride you'll ever take! But, oh, so scary!

Because, let's face it, no matter how well you follow the guidelines of books, listen (or not) to your mother or heed a friend's always supportive (?) advice or...

no matter how cocky you feel because you got them to 18 without either one of you doing jail time; you can never really be sure of the job you did until they're off into the big, bad world. Dats the true measure of success or failure...AND...even then...when is the credit or blame yours or theirs? Hummm...

So, with all this in mind and of course, my vast experience and wisdom (?) I am going to attempt writing a weekly tidbit on my personal adventures into motherhood.  I hope to publish every Monday, but please don't hold me hostage to this as I may have to attend my Procrastinator's Meeting none and then!

Also, I don't consider myself an expert on the woes or successes of parenting.  These tales are meant to entertain and hopefully, enlightened, but basically...

It's just the way it was.



Connect the Dots...

Remember when we were kids we'd play the game "Connect the Dots"? There would be a partial outline and in order to figure out what it was we'd have to connect all the dots correctly to see the full picture.  Something like this...

 

It got me to pondering how life is much like the connect the dots game; done correctly it makes sense, the picture becomes complete, but...done wrong it will end up all wonky.

We are given an outline in the form of our jobs, family, interests, hobby's, friends, whatever.  This outline is meant to give us a general idea how the "big picture"  is suppose to look.

How to connect the dots...

But so often, like a willful five year old, we refuse to follow the pattern and end up with an utter mess on our hands.

What to do, what to do?  The wisest action would be to look at what is already present in our life's and move forward from that point?  Am I good with my hands, but don't have a scholarly aptitude?  Is so, why would I try to please Mom and Dad by going to college to become a doctor?  Maybe I'd be happier becoming a mechanic, especially since my hobby is restoring old cars.  Dah!

How about that I know in my heart that I want to see the world and sail the seven seas.  Why would I get married and settle down, only to be miserable?  Get the picture?  Or...

What if you knew someone loved their job in sales, enjoyed being part of a large family, was interested in planting and growing, volunteered for the community gardens and surrounded themselves with like-minded friends.  Wouldja think this is their outline for life? 

Why, oh why, do we so often lament, "I just don't know why I'm here or what I'm suppose to be doing!"  Dah again!

Is it just too obvious and simple?  What would you tell that person?

Okay, okay, maybe there are a number of possible outlines this person might follow, but come on, everything about this life shouldn't send them down the road to living in a high rise as a recluse!  Right?

Yet...how many of us don't connect the dots correctly and wonder why we're so forlorn and depressed with our life?

I've done this...I do this...

Yes, indeedy I have created the wonkiest pictures because I won't connect the dots properly.  How about you?  
I realize it isn't exactly this simple...there are other factors like personality...upbringing...heritage...experiences...

these all affect who we are and what we'll become, but...here's the big BUT...

Wherever we are in life and no matter what has brought us to the present moment, it's still up to us whether we work with what we have or not.  Connect the dots to complete the picture or...

live with the mess!

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Tootle Loo! 

Remember... before Men-on-pause...

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"Remember when..."

"I wish I could."

"No really...when night sweats meant making mad, passionate love?"  "Being hot meant you were horny?"

"Oh dear...!"  [blush]

"When your hubby made your heart pitter patter instead causing your pacemaker to short out!?"

"No fair!"  "I don't have a pacemaker."

"Remember when you were game to do it just about anywhere?"

"And now you're game to try to stay awake!"

"Remember when you thought he was the most handsome, sexiest man alive?"

"Ahhh, yes..."

"Oh, and he thought you were a knock out?"

"I still am!"

"Huh huh...dressing young doesn't make you young."

 "Remember when spending time with a man meant a romantic evening?"

"Instead of an evening with the weather anchor!"

"Remember when it mattered how you looked?"

"And now you can't remember the last time you looked!"

"Remember when your hair was long and thick, your skin was smooth?"

"Well...my moustache is long and thick and the skin on my butt is still smooth..."

"Remember before..."

 
"No, but the hubby probably does."

"Remember when you could fall and not get hurt?"

 "Ahhh yes..."

"Remember when you constantly watched what you ate?"

"And now you constantly eat while you watch!"

"Ahhh yes...remember when..."

Over the Top...

After reading this blog about getting a tattoo, specifically a "Tramp Stamp" check it here, I got to pondering the entire idea about adorning our bodies in a permanent fashion and how extreme we've become...

Don't get me wrong.  I'm not against tattoos or piercings, per se, but I do wonder "what were you thinking" when I see how outrageous some people are these days!  I marvel on how I once thought a tongue or nose pierce was excessive or a full sleeve tattoo was radical.  Compared to the goings on today, these are now considered moderate, conservative, normal...

Would you date a guy who sported this tattoo...

Honestly, what would you think when you discovered this one?  Or...

How about dating this guy?  Well...maybe if your name was Brenda...

Then what about the world of piercings?  Why would a pretty, young gal do something like this to her face...

or this?

 I get wanting to be unique, distinctive, decorated...  But, I don't get why anyone would go to such excess?  I'm especially distressed when it's a young person because most will come to deeply regret the follies of their youth. Plus, there may not be much that can be done about it.  Or it could be very expensive and painful to fix. 

I wish common sense would prevail and our youth would realize that these permanent ornaments may not be so "sick" when they get older but, in fact, might make them sick that they ever did it!

Then there are the piercings and tattoos that are really OVER THE TOP...

CRAZY...

WACKADOODLE...

FREAKY...

NUTSO...

Nobody in their right mind would do this to themselves!

Nopers!  This is truly sick!

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Ta Ta!

Just for Fun...

I received this email awhile ago and thought I'd post it to brighten your day...

RETIRED HEALTH MESSAGE

As I was lying in bed pondering the problems of the world, I rapidly realized that I don't really give a rat's hiney. It's the tortoise life for me!

1. If walking is good for your health, the postman would be immortal.

2. A whale swims all day, only eats fish, drinks water, and is fat.

3. A rabbit runs and hops and only lives 15 years.

4. A tortoise doesn't run and does nothing, yet it lives for 450 years.

And you tell me to exercise?? I don't think so.

I'm retired. Go around me.

Now that I'm older here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and all-bran.

3. I finally got my head together, and now my body is falling apart.

4. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

5. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.

6. If all is not lost, where is it?

7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

8. Some days, you're the dog; some days you're the hydrant.

9. I wish the buck stopped here; I sure could use a few.

10. Kids in the back seat cause accidents.

11. Accidents in the back seat cause kids.

12. It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.

13. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.

14. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he'd have put them on my knees.

15. When I'm finally holding all the cards, why does everyone want to play chess?

16. Its not hard to meet expenses . . . they're everywhere.

17. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

18. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter..

I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm hereafter.

19. Funny, I don't remember being absent-minded.


20. DID I SEND THESE TO YOU BEFORE..........??????

Get You off Your Mind...

Me thinks I know the basic, fundamental reason why so many people these days are unhappy ...

narcissism...

selfishness...

egotism...

vanity...

self-absorption...

In other words, we are our favorite subject to talk about, think about, hear about, worry about...
and do you know what the real truth is?  Most people will forget you five minutes after you've left the building.  Seriously!

You are not that important!

Far too many people today live their life as if the world was created just for them.  They feel entitled to the  "Good Life".  You know the one...

...the big house, new car, perfect job, highest salary, best vacations, model family.

And we make every effort, regardless of who may get hurt, to possess it.  Many succeed.  Yet, never have we lived in a time when relationships are more strained, divorce rates higher, families more estranged.

Is this really the "Good Life"... 

Today's culture supports us in the belief that we are numero uno...special...top dog...extraordinary...

Honestly???  How can that be?  How can every single person be the best?  Quit believing your own press. 

The grocery cashier who has spent 6 hours on her feet, with an aching back, could care less that you put in an extra hour glaming up for your visit to the store.  She doesn't care and never noticed that your hair is perfectly coiffed or you wore 300 dollar designer jeans.  She is just looking forward to going home and putting her feet up.  You are just one of several hundred nameless, faceless people she's ran through her till today.  Really!

Really!

Fellow motorists may notice your fancy new car as you go speeding by...or not...most likely not.  They too, are heading to work, following their dreams, thinking about themselves, believing in the "Good Life".  They really aren't interested your new car...except...unless...

they're planning to buy one themselves.  Only a much newer version...yes, indeedy.

STOP the madness!  A contented life isn't about who owns the newest, biggest, best.  It isn't about what you want or need or what everyone can do for you.  You don't have to feel special to be special.

Try thinking of others more than you do yourself.  Try putting other's needs ahead of your own.  Get your mind off yourself.  Then...and only then will you truly be a big deal in the eyes of others...and God's.

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Tha...that's all folks! 

I felt Shame...

This past Labour Day weekend Miss J invited me to join her in taking in Lee Daniel's movie, "The Butler".  I had heard of it and seen some previews, but otherwise didn't really know what it was about.  It's loosely based on the life story of a Afro-American man, Eugene Allen, who served as a butler at the White House for 34 years, through 8 administrations.  Much of the movie's content deals with the civil rights movement during the the 60's, 70's and 80's.

Although the movie is fiction, there is plenty of actual news footage interspersed throughout the film, depicting some of the real conflict and challenges Afro-Americans withstood during this tumultuous time.

The blatant hatred and prejudice toward black persons was extremely difficult to watch and on several occasions I was brought to tears.   Tears of shame for the atrocious actions committed by my race.  Shame that this ever happened.  Shame that it continues to happen. 

And not just white racism, but the discrimination many races feel toward anyone not their own...

"The Butler" is an excellent depiction of  what occurred during the civil rights movement.  There is an all-star cast including awesome performances by Forest Whitaker and Oprah Winfrey.  It is eye-opening and heart-wrenching.  It is well worth going to watch on the big screen (something I don't usually do). 

I give it 5 stars and predict several academy awards!